DISQUS

B.T.Carolus · 12 months ago

"Sidenote: I detest the label ex-gay."

Have you come up with anything you prefer to be called?

Randy · 12 months ago

Artist, Brother, Son, Friend, really bad at bowling ... blogger :)

There really aren't any good "labels" I have found except "formerly gay identified" but that isn't exactly the easiest thing to consistently say in interviews. Any suggestions?

B.T.Carolus · 12 months ago

"Artist, Brother, Son, Friend, really bad at bowling ... blogger :)"

I thought so. Also: Randy.

You could go with post gay, but then people might get you confused with Peter Ould. I'd suggest beyond ex-gay, but I think that one's already been taken as well...

I'll just go with Randy.

Randy · 12 months ago

That is an interesting thought but I like just being labeled by my name just fine too. :)

Mensley · 12 months ago

Formerly-homosexual-neo-conservative-reformed-evangelical-prophetic progressive-sushi-eating-emergent-iced-venti-skinny-vanilla-latte.

Jonathan · 12 months ago

I suggest losing the starbucks order portion or put some more descriptors after it.
Really though, Randy, your name identifies you in a way so uniquely you. In a culture where some labels are chosen, and others are thrust upon us, you have taken what the world calls 'ex-gay' and lived out a life that shows there is so much more to your idenity even in that reguard than what is expressed in that statement.

Randy · 12 months ago

Thanks Jonathan.

B.T.Carolus · 12 months ago

Does he eat real sushi now? I thought he was Mr. California rolls.

Randy · 12 months ago

The last time I had sushi I graduated.

I may not try again :).

B.T.Carolus · 12 months ago

Well congratulations ;)

Randy · 12 months ago

-rockstar?

:) I love some of those descriptions. Thanks a lot. Now I want some Starbucks.

Jonathan · 12 months ago

-transformed-via-Christ's-love

Randy · 12 months ago

very good and true.

Pianomankugie · 11 months ago

Used-to-deeply-believe-I-could-find-a-man-who-would-be-a- good-match-until-surprise of surprises The Spritual Lover made Himself known to me and the physical lovers just weren't so satisfying anymore. How's that?

B.T.Carolus · 11 months ago

I don't think that would fit on a coffee mug, though.

Randy · 11 months ago

no ... definitely wouldn't fit. Unless, it was a really huge coffee mug. That would work right about now ::: yawn :::

Randy · 11 months ago

That's interesting and pretty good. Thanks for chiming in.

singerguy0 · 12 months ago

Someone who "came from the background of homosexuality"

Randy · 12 months ago

that's good. Or " who has a homosexual background."

B.T.Carolus · 12 months ago

has is better. Came from makes it sound like you had two dads -- like "he came from a working class background."

Randy · 12 months ago

I didn't get that ... nobody has ever said that before.

B.T.Carolus · 12 months ago

when people talk about "their background" a lot of times they mean who there parents were, and where they grew up, rather than what they personally were/did. e.g. a politician might have been a lawyer, but he'll talk about his 'working class background' meaning that he grew up the son of a factory worker or something like that, so he understands the middle/lower class (I may be thinking of a VP-elect here). If you're introducing yourself to people who don't know who you are, and they are assuming that homosexuality is immutable, they probably won't figure out that you mean that you were the homosexual part of your background.

Randy · 12 months ago

And as someone who does a lot of interviews on the subject, I don't remember anyone ever being confused about what I meant by that (if I say it and that isn't the way i say it often.)

And this is what stood out to you the most from the original post?

B.T.Carolus · 12 months ago

yeah, but in that context the interviewer already knows what you're there to talk about. I meant if you just introduced yourself to random people who don't know you from the man on the moon, they won't necessarily understand what you're signifying. I could just be putting it through my own filter that says different things than it would to other people, though.

The original post: If the wishful thinking/dream portion represents your desire to have respectful and meaningful conversation/communication with people (even if you ultimately disagrees), then the reality portion represents the realization that right now emotions are running so high and are so frayed that it is impossible. We'll have to wait for everyone to cool down so that we can resume civil discourse. (is that more on topic?)

Eileen Rife · 12 months ago

It seems so unfair to be labeled "ex-gay" since it's no worse a sin than any other. 1 Corinthians 6:9 f lists greed, theft, idolatry, and slander right up there with homosexuality, yet you never hear someone who has been redeemed by the blood of the Lamb referred to as an ex-idolater" or "ex-slanderer." Our identity in Christ presents us to the world as a new creation. The only use for the old life labels from which we have been delivered is to share the victory Christ has brought. I can attest to that as God has set me free from obsessive-compulsive disorder. Still, I don't go around calling myself an ex-OC. Eileen, daughter of the King, is just fine by me. :)

Randy · 12 months ago

very true and important perspective.

Pianomankugie · 11 months ago

Well Said Well Said! I don't go around calling myself an ex-depressive ex-ADD glasses-only-contacts-are-forbidden (aint' nobuddy gunna put those things in my eyes) non-pierced ex-broken-armed half azorean-portuguese ex-roman-catholic etc etc etc etc yuck. I like to refer to myself as a follower of Christ and a new creation In Him with a saved spirit, a being saved soul, and a body not yet saved/regenerated.

JoeDallas · 12 months ago

Randy, your answer to Hugo is one of the best responses to that sort of hyperbole that I've ever read. Bravo! Actually, yours is the first blog I've ever taken time to keep revisiting, and I'm enjoying it hugely. And yes, I'd say you just encouraged the birth of a new blog that I suspect won't be titled, "Everyday Loving Thoughts About Randy Collected."

Randy · 12 months ago

Joe... I am humbled by your comment. Thank you sir!

Thank you also for your compliment on the blog. I am glad you find it worth revisiting. If you have any ideas of topics or ... stuff ... lemmee know.

Joe Dallas likes my blog :)

ChaplianChas. · 11 months ago

Hmmm. "Stop It!" Therapy for the masses... I wonder if that's available as a pill? Or "Shazaam" Therapy!

LOL.

Really do enjoy your humor, Randy!

Blessings!
ChaplainChas.

Randy · 11 months ago

Thanks Chas!

BevP · 11 months ago

Ah, Randy, I love you. You're top-notch in my book. I agree with Joe. You handled that with great clarity. Kudos to you!

Randy · 11 months ago

Awww... your sweet Bev. Thanks.

ChaplianChas. · 11 months ago

Found it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYLMTvxOaeE

You've likely seen it before, but enjoy!

Randy · 11 months ago

Yes I have seen it. It was very funny :).

Hugo · 12 months ago

Maybe you could label yourself as what you are: a closeted gay man, incapable of loving the way he loves and living in fear. God set you free form nothjing, your chose barrten, loveless life and didicated your l9fe to oppressing and defaming people like you.

And did your fake dream also include the ending the messages of hatred and constant vomiting of lies coming from Christian right and your employers? Most likely not?

People who have been oppressed, been targeted with such hate as we are do get angry. BVut not even that is allowed because you fascists want us to go underground in hiding. That old lady chose to come gloating to people who were hurting, she chose to rub in the insult... but then that is what you christianists do, Nothing is enough fpr you when it comes to hurting people.

No more mr. Nice gay, I will fight you to the day I die and I will never give up.

B.T.Carolus · 12 months ago

Hugo, I'm kind of doubting you were ever "Mr. Nice gay," based on the little rants you like to post here.

I've got an idea, though. How about you read some of Randy's posts that have nothing to do with gay issues. How about you try to get to know the real Randy, the real person, instead of viewing him as a symbol to direct all of your anger at. Somehow, I don't think you'll take my suggestion.

Randy · 12 months ago

Thanks Ellie. I hope he does take your suggestion.

Randy · 12 months ago

Closet Never lived in one. Wouldn't know how too. I certainly don't live in fear. You try going in front of churches and the mainstream media and explain how you used to sleep with men and now don't because of your faith in Christ.

Not exactly an easy thing to be "out" about but I do it.

God The Holy Spirit isn't named Hugo and right now I am pretty glad about that. Interesting you feel the authority to speak to the reality of my life and spiritual life.

Lies ... and we don't tell lies. Others spin and lies get told about us but ... I am pretty sure I wouldn't convince you of that.

Hate ... kind of like what you exhibit toward me? I don't want you to hide or go underground ... never have. I don't know anyone who does except the Fred Phelps people and I don't really know them. Gay people hating me, Gay people liking me, Gay people thinking I am a liar ... it's all interesting but my world, and the truth of it, doesn't rest on gay people accepting or even tolerating who I am or what I believe. I didn't come to the beliefs I have and personal life goals because of what you all might think.

I don't exist to not be you. I don't even promote what I believe because of you. That's why I reject the term "ex-gay" as my primary identity.

Old Lady "Christianists" if you are trying to make her into the poster woman for "fascism" you just go ahead and keep that up. Any reasonable person, whether they identify as gay or not, would look at that hyperbolic comparison and think it a really ignorant thing to say. Now, if she had marched in with 20,000 brown shirted clones and drove you into gas chambers ... then you might have some credibility. But an old lady with a huge cross with flowers on it wading into the middle of a crowd hell bent on destroying her message, shouting her down, spitting on and shaming her. They stigmatized, silenced the media and ran her off. Even with all that shameful behavior I would call it thuggery and mob mentality ... not fascism.

In fact you don't even see the rabid Phelps clan doing that to gay people. They spit at my feet though.

Not sure what your last sentence is supposed to really mean but ... it is obvious that you don't know much about me. I may not approve all your comments but you are more than welcome to hang around and keep trying to submit them. I read them all even if I don't approve them or respond. Plus, I always encourage people to start their own blogs. It's a great way to "get it out of your system."

Did I just really encourage someone who has sworn a lifetime of "fighting" me to start a blog?

ah well....