45 comments

• 

  editorgal

  9 months ago

  Sigh. Closets are dark, confining, restricting, and airless. No matter what name your closet has: abuse (sexual, physical or mental), alcoholism, drug addiction (prescription or street), pornography, food, mental illness (and I include depression here), control . . . well, the list is endless. Despite the prison of a closet, many folks choose to remain in them out of fear. Fear of rejection, ridicule, and all those words encompass. For some, the fear of losing income or their lives keeps them imprisoned. Sadly, churches are not safe places to come out of whatever closet restricts our freedom.
  
  The article in the link Chap. Chas posted hits home . . . even if you substitute the name of the closet (or temptation) to any of the ones not related to sexual sin. The solution, ah, much touchier. Requires more of us to be honest, open and vulnerable . . . modern day prophets, if you will, exposing the closets for what they are, prisons. And proclaiming the Gospel so He can set the prisoners free. A daunting and scary prospect. I confess, I'm scared to expose my closets to the Church at large. He lives in my closets, well, the biggest ones anyway. The ones that kept me the most imprisoned. I'm certain I still have pockets I hide in when my flesh gets tempted away from His truth. I press on, thankful for the grace He's given me for this day. He is my freedom.
  reply
• 

  Jonathan

  9 months ago

  It certainly seems to be a season of openness..I'm just glad its on the table so we can pray for them! I'm surprised at the cultural shame still associated with this kind of statement...it seems to me that just a few years ago it was the latest 'cool' thing.
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  I think I understand what you are saying but don't want to assume. Would you elaborate on how coming out has become "cool?"
  reply
• 

  Jonathan

  9 months ago

  Maybe it's just my own observations from high school, and not true in
  any kind of normative sense, but, many of those who would call the
  outcast terms such as "gay","queer","fag"and many others, only did
  that with people who didn't already self-identify as "homosexual". At
  the same time often there were 'positive' statements from members of
  the GSA, "Yes, you are. Just admit it, and get on with your life."
  "You're not doing 'X' so you must be". The already self-identified
  "homosexual", received far less negative attention from the same
  people, and if that weren't enough, they got an "instant support
  structure" from the GSA community. Today, the statement, gets you more
  than 15minutes of fame, it gets you a platform that causes people in
  the public to listen to the pain you've experienced in life. If
  you're making it yourself instead of being 'outed', you're already
  past the point where you 'consciously care' about people's rejection
  of your choice anyway. If you're famous you may even gain a whole new
  and faster growing fanbase that would never have supported you
  otherwise.
  reply
• 

  B.T.Carolus

  9 months ago

  I don't see exactly how that makes coming out appear 'cool.' I do, however, understand what you mean. There's sort of this assumption among younger people today, I think, (and which I used to be guilty of), that almost all gay people are out, and that anyone who is out is completely open about it. There's this sort of light pressure being exerted on my generation to view anyone who would remain closeted as having major psychological problems or something. I don't have any concrete evidence to marshall together to prove that, it's just from what I have observed based on consuming the same media as they have over the last 20 years, and interacting with them.
  
  This definitely makes being out the more socially acceptable option, at least among us youngins.
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  You kind of hit on what I was alluding to with regard to "The Closet" being used to pressure people to be out. Because if you are not "out" you are somehow not strong enough or psychologically able. OR that by being "out" you are somehow your own personal hero for doing that.
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  Very good perspective. Great job in explaining.
  reply
• 

  ChaplianChas.

  9 months ago

  http://www.crossministry.org/home
  
  The above link is a good response to Ray, which would be good for Clay, or anyone thinking about outing as gay.
  
  Yes, there's less suprizing with this announcement, but it's still sad. I am so with you on the whole SHAME thing!
  
  Now we just need true believers to walk in the light, as He is in the Light! THEN we can have peace with God (w/o shame) and fellowship one with another (w/o shame)!
  
  Blessings! along with meditations,
  ChaplainChas.
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  Thank you for the link Chas. I like and try to live out your antidote to shame :).
  reply
• 

  ChaplianChas.

  9 months ago

  While we're at it, it appears Lindsay Lohan has also come out... I don't believe she's ever professed Christ (unlike Clay and Ray), but it's a bit sad none-the-less). The world keeps on feeding us what we don't need, but think is best! Ugh.
  
  From Seattle News: In a chat broadcast Monday night on Dr. Drew Pinsky's radio show, "Loveline," actress Lindsay Lohan, 22, confirmed that she and Samantha Ronson, 31, are lovers. Lohan, who called in to chat about the recent plane crash of her friend DJ AM, was caught off guard by co-host Ted Stryker, who asked how long she'd been going steady with Sam. "A long ... a very long time," Lohan said. (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/entertain...).
  
  Praying for repentance in my own heart, and Revival to take root and grow in rapid succession,
  Blessings!
  ChaplainChas.
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  Yeah, the Lindsay thing is odd. From the feedback I get (of all persuasions) has the opposite mirror reaction to Lindsay as they do Clay. The moment they hear she is in a "lesbian" relationship they always say "she's not really a lesbian" unlike Clay where the immediate response has always been, "he has same sex attraction."
  
  Kinda' weird that little dynamic.
  reply
• 

  Oceanskater

  9 months ago

  When I saw the headline, I popped over her, figuring you had already blogged about it!
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  Well ... you know ... I try. :)
  reply
• 

  Jonathan

  9 months ago

  It certainly seems to be a season of openness..I'm just glad its on the table so we can pray for them! I'm surprised at the cultural shame still associated with this kind of statement...it seems to me that just a few years ago it was the latest 'cool' thing.
  reply
• 

  Matt_V

  9 months ago

  My mom has been a huge Clay fan ever since the American Idol days and she always expected that he was secretly struggling to reconcile his faith with his attractions. I know he's suffered from anxiety and panic attacks and I'd venture to guess that it has something to do with being in the public spotlight while he's working through identity questions. It also explains his decision to have a baby via artificial insemination, I think it's just part of wanting to be a dad and feeling like there's no other option for him.
  
  My heart is saddened for him simply because I know how I felt while I was struggling alone. I know what it's like to want a wife and kids but see no possible road to getting there. Regardless of the decisions he makes from here I applaud him for the courage to be honest so publicly. The press has been ruthless to him for not talking publicly about his sexuality, and I'm sure they'll continue to be unkind now that he's being open. I just hope that all this doesn't send him running into the arms of the gay community, but into a loving and equipped church or even an exodus ministry. He's in my prayers.
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  Matt, if you do decide to answer Emily below, just be forewarned that she is a blogger with ex-gay watch.
  reply
• 

  Emily K

  9 months ago

  Randy, I hope your intent is not to get Matt to either 1) not answer my question or 2) change his answer because I'm from "the other side."
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  Well both of those options are pretty cynical. I just know that you all are always looking to blog about anything so if *he* decides to answer I think he should know who you are (if he doesn't already.)
  
  I would, hopefully, never tell someone not to answer or "change" their answer. I find the insinuation a bit of an insult but not surprising.
  reply
• 

  Emily K

  9 months ago

  Matt, I'm curious as to why it would be bad for him to go running into the arms of the gay community.
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  Emily, if you hit reply underneath a comment it will open a text area and you can input your comment there. The benefit of that is the threads will remain together and the original author is emailed your response.
  reply
• 

  ChaplianChas.

  9 months ago

  http://www.crossministry.org/home
  
  
  The above link is a good response to Ray, which would be good for Clay, or anyone thinking about outing as gay.
  
  
  
  Yes, there's less suprizing with this announcement, but it's still sad. I am so with you on the whole SHAME thing!
  
  
  
  Now we just need true believers to walk in the light, as He is in the Light! THEN we can have peace with God (w/o shame) and fellowship one with another (w/o shame)!
  
  
  
  Blessings! along with meditations,
  
  ChaplainChas.
  
  
  reply
• 

  ChaplianChas.

  9 months ago

  While we're at it, it appears Lindsay Lohan has also come out... I don't believe she's ever professed Christ (unlike Clay and Ray), but it's a bit sad none-the-less). The world keeps on feeding us what we don't need, but think is best! Ugh.
  
  
  From Seattle News: In a chat broadcast Monday night on Dr. Drew Pinsky's radio show, "Loveline," actress Lindsay Lohan, 22, confirmed that she and Samantha Ronson, 31, are lovers. Lohan, who called in to chat about the recent plane crash of her friend DJ AM, was caught off guard by co-host Ted Stryker, who asked how long she'd been going steady with Sam. "A long ... a very long time," Lohan said. (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/entertain...).
  
  
  
  Praying for repentance in my own heart, and Revival to take root and grow in rapid succession,
  
  Blessings!
  
  ChaplainChas.
  
  
  reply
• 

  Brenna Kater, the Oceanskater

  9 months ago

  When I saw the headline, I popped over her, figuring you had already blogged about it!
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  I think I understand what you are saying but don't want to assume. Would you elaborate on how coming out has become "cool?"
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  Thank you for the link Chas. I like and try to live out your antidote to shame :).
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  Yeah, the Lindsay thing is odd. From the feedback I get (of all persuasions) has the opposite mirror reaction to Lindsay as they do Clay. The moment they hear she is in a "lesbian" relationship they always say "she's not really a lesbian" unlike Clay where the immediate response has always been, "he has same sex attraction."
  
  
  Kinda' weird that little dynamic.
  
  
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  Well ... you know ... I try. :)
  reply
• 

  editorgal

  9 months ago

  Sigh. Closets are dark, confining, restricting, and airless. No matter what name your closet has: abuse (sexual, physical or mental), alcoholism, drug addiction (prescription or street), pornography, food, mental illness (and I include depression here), control . . . well, the list is endless. Despite the prison of a closet, many folks choose to remain in them out of fear. Fear of rejection, ridicule, and all those words encompass. For some, the fear of losing income or their liveskeeps them imprisoned. Sadly, churches are not safe places to come out of whatever closet restricts our freedom.
  
  
  The article in the link Chap. Chas posted hits home . . . even if you substitute the name of the closet (or temptation) to any of the ones not related to sexual sin. The solution, ah, much touchier. Requires more of us to be honest, open and vulnerable . . . modern day prophets, if you will, exposing the closets for what they are, prisons. And proclaiming the Gospel so He can set the prisoners free. A daunting and scary prospect. I confess, I'm scared to expose my closets to the Church at large. He lives in my closets, well, the biggest ones anyway. The ones that kept me the most imprisoned. I'm certain I still have pockets I hide in when my flesh gets tempted away from His truth. I press on, thankful for the grace He's given me for this day. He is my freedom.
  
  
  reply
• 

  Julie

  9 months ago

  I'm frustrated with the "Clay Aiken is finally confirming what many people already knew" part of the article. I've been sickened by all the (at times brutal) jokes and insinuations and stereotyping regarding his 'obvious' homosexuality since he acquired so much fame. I've been praying for him for years to find his true identity amid all the fame and accusations and pressure from those in gay or gay friendly communities who insist that anyone with fame must be public about his/her same sex attractions out of some sort of moral obligation. I'll still pray for him in that way.
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  good idea Julie. Yes, the jokes have been really bad about him.
  reply
• 

  Jay

  9 months ago

  Well, I think a part of his "obvious" homosexuality wasn't just his mannerisms, but also the fact that he never said he was one or the other and was trying to keep his private life private. Many celebrities do that. I think the term is a "glass closet." Jodie Foster and Anderson Cooper come to mind.
  reply
• 

  Matt

  9 months ago

  My mom has been a huge Clay fan ever since the American Idol days and she always expected that he was secretly struggling to reconcile his faith with his attractions. I know he's suffered from anxiety and panic attacks and I'd venture to guess that it has something to do with being in the public spotlight while he's working through identity questions. It also explains his decision to have a baby via artificial insemination, I think it's just part of wanting to be a dad and feeling like there's no other option for him.
  
  
  My heart is saddened for him simply because I know how I felt while I was struggling alone. I know what it's like to want a wife and kids but see no possible road to getting there. Regardless of the decisions he makes from here I applaud him for the courage to be honest so publicly. The press has been ruthless to him for not talking publicly about his sexuality, and I'm sure they'll continue to be unkind now that he's being open. I just hope that all this doesn't send him running into the arms of the gay community, but into a loving and equipped church or even an exodus ministry. He's in my prayers.
  
  
  reply
• 

  Jonathan

  9 months ago

  Maybe it's just my own observations from high school, and not true in
  any kind of normative sense, but, many those who would call the
  
  outcast terms such as "gay","queer","fag"and many others, only did
  
  that with people who didn't already self-identify as "homosexual". At
  
  the same time often there were 'positive' statements from members of
  
  the GSA, "Yes, you are. Just admit it, and get on with your life."
  
  "You're not doing 'X' so you must be". The already self-identified
  
  "homosexual", received far less negative attention from the same
  
  people, and if that weren't enough, they got an "instant support
  
  structure" from the GSA community. Today, the statement, gets you more
  
  than 15minutes of fame, it gets you a platform that causes people in
  
  the public to listen to the pain you've experienced in life. If
  
  you're making it yourself instead of being 'outed', you're already
  
  past the point where you 'consciously care' about people's rejection
  
  of your choice anyway. If you're famous you may even gain a whole new
  
  and faster growing fanbase that would never have supported you
  
  otherwise.
  
  
  reply
• 

  Ellie

  9 months ago

  I don't see exactly how that makes coming out appear 'cool.' I do, however, understand what you mean. There's sort of this assumption among younger people today, I think, (and which I used to be guilty of), that almost all gay people are out, and that anyone who is out is completely open about it. There's this sort of light pressure being exerted on my generation to view anyone who would remain closeted as having major psychological problems or something. I don't have any concrete evidence to marshall together to prove that, it's just from what I have observed based on consuming the same media as they have over the last 20 years, and interacting with them.
  
  
  This definitely makes being out the more socially acceptable option, at least among us youngins.
  
  
  reply
• 

  Emily K

  9 months ago

  Matt, I'm curious as to why it would be bad for him to go running into the arms of the gay community.
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  Matt, if you do decide to answer Emily below, just be forewarned that she is a blogger with ex-gay watch.
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  Emily, if you hit reply underneath a comment it will open a text area and you can input your comment there. The benefit of that is the threads will remain together and the original author is emailed your response.
  reply
• 

  Emily K

  9 months ago

  Randy, I hope your intent is not to get Matt to either 1) not answer my question or 2) change his answer because I'm from "the other side."
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  Well both of those options are pretty cynical. I just know that you all are always looking to blog about anything so if *he* decides to answer I think he should know who you are (if he doesn't already.)
  
  
  I would never tell someone not to answer or "change" their answer. I find the insinuation a bit of an insult but not surprising.
  
  
  reply
• 

  Alex

  9 months ago

  Randy,
  
  
  So your heads-up to Matt was just a bit of useless trivia? Riiiight.
  
  
  
  I bet Emily appreciates the free publicity you gave her website! Did you happen to read the great article she wrote about you today?
  
  
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  Very good perspective. Great job in explaining.
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  You kind of hit on what I was alluding to with regard to "The Closet" being used to pressure people to be out. Because if you are not "out" you are somehow not strong enough or psychologically able. OR that by being "out" you are somehow your own personal hero for doing that.
  reply
• 

  Julie

  9 months ago

  I'm frustrated with the "Clay Aiken is finally confirming what many people already knew" part of the article. I've been sickened by all the (at times brutal) jokes and insinuations and stereotyping regarding his 'obvious' homosexuality since he acquired so much fame. I've been praying for him for years to find his true identity amid all the fame and accusations and pressure from those in gay or gay friendly communities who insist that anyone with fame must be public about his/her same sex attractions out of some sort of moral obligation. I'll still pray for him in that way.
  reply
• 

  Randy

  9 months ago

  good idea Julie. Yes, the jokes have been really bad about him.
  reply
• 

  Jay

  9 months ago

  Well, I think a part of his "obvious" homosexuality wasn't just his mannerisms, but also the fact that he never said he was one or the other and was trying to keep his private life private. Many celebrities do that. I think the term is a "glass closet." Jodie Foster and Anderson Cooper come to mind.
  reply