ETC: Everyday Thoughts Collected - Latest Comments in First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

Jay — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 19:17:39 -0000

Well, I think a part of his "obvious" homosexuality wasn't just his mannerisms, but also the fact that he never said he was one or the other and was trying to keep his private life private. Many celebrities do that. I think the term is a "glass closet." Jodie Foster and Anderson Cooper come to mind.

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

Jay — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 10:17:39 -0000

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

RThomasETC — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 05:48:51 -0000

good idea Julie. Yes, the jokes have been really bad about him.

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

Julie — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 05:30:30 -0000

I'm frustrated with the "Clay Aiken is finally confirming what many people already knew" part of the article. I've been sickened by all the (at times brutal) jokes and insinuations and stereotyping regarding his 'obvious' homosexuality since he acquired so much fame. I've been praying for him for years to find his true identity amid all the fame and accusations and pressure from those in gay or gay friendly communities who insist that anyone with fame must be public about his/her same sex attractions out of some sort of moral obligation. I'll still pray for him in that way.

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

RThomasETC — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 02:52:13 -0000

You kind of hit on what I was alluding to with regard to "The Closet" being used to pressure people to be out. Because if you are not "out" you are somehow not strong enough or psychologically able. OR that by being "out" you are somehow your own personal hero for doing that.

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

RThomasETC — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 02:49:53 -0000

Very good perspective. Great job in explaining.

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

Alex — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 01:29:45 -0000

Randy,

So your heads-up to Matt was just a bit of useless trivia? Riiiight.

I bet Emily appreciates the free publicity you gave her website! Did you happen to read the great article she wrote about you today?

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

RThomasETC — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 00:30:05 -0000

Well both of those options are pretty cynical. I just know that you all are always looking to blog about anything so if *he* decides to answer I think he should know who you are (if he doesn't already.)

I would never tell someone not to answer or "change" their answer. I find the insinuation a bit of an insult but not surprising.

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

Emily K — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 00:24:26 -0000

Randy, I hope your intent is not to get Matt to either 1) not answer my question or 2) change his answer because I'm from "the other side."

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

RThomasETC — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 23:11:40 -0000

Emily, if you hit reply underneath a comment it will open a text area and you can input your comment there. The benefit of that is the threads will remain together and the original author is emailed your response.

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

RThomasETC — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 23:10:15 -0000

Matt, if you do decide to answer Emily below, just be forewarned that she is a blogger with ex-gay watch.

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

Emily K — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 23:05:10 -0000

Matt, I'm curious as to why it would be bad for him to go running into the arms of the gay community.

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

Ellie — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 21:34:52 -0000

I don't see exactly how that makes coming out appear 'cool.' I do, however, understand what you mean. There's sort of this assumption among younger people today, I think, (and which I used to be guilty of), that almost all gay people are out, and that anyone who is out is completely open about it. There's this sort of light pressure being exerted on my generation to view anyone who would remain closeted as having major psychological problems or something. I don't have any concrete evidence to marshall together to prove that, it's just from what I have observed based on consuming the same media as they have over the last 20 years, and interacting with them.

This definitely makes being out the more socially acceptable option, at least among us youngins.

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

Iceclaw — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 21:24:14 -0000

Maybe it's just my own observations from high school, and not true in
any kind of normative sense, but, many those who would call the

outcast terms such as "gay","queer","fag"and many others, only did

that with people who didn't already self-identify as "homosexual". At

the same time often there were 'positive' statements from members of

the GSA, "Yes, you are. Just admit it, and get on with your life."

"You're not doing 'X' so you must be". The already self-identified

"homosexual", received far less negative attention from the same

people, and if that weren't enough, they got an "instant support

structure" from the GSA community. Today, the statement, gets you more

than 15minutes of fame, it gets you a platform that causes people in

the public to listen to the pain you've experienced in life. If

you're making it yourself instead of being 'outed', you're already

past the point where you 'consciously care' about people's rejection

of your choice anyway. If you're famous you may even gain a whole new

and faster growing fanbase that would never have supported you

otherwise.

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

Matt — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 21:05:01 -0000

My mom has been a huge Clay fan ever since the American Idol days and she always expected that he was secretly struggling to reconcile his faith with his attractions. I know he's suffered from anxiety and panic attacks and I'd venture to guess that it has something to do with being in the public spotlight while he's working through identity questions. It also explains his decision to have a baby via artificial insemination, I think it's just part of wanting to be a dad and feeling like there's no other option for him.

My heart is saddened for him simply because I know how I felt while I was struggling alone. I know what it's like to want a wife and kids but see no possible road to getting there. Regardless of the decisions he makes from here I applaud him for the courage to be honest so publicly. The press has been ruthless to him for not talking publicly about his sexuality, and I'm sure they'll continue to be unkind now that he's being open. I just hope that all this doesn't send him running into the arms of the gay community, but into a loving and equipped church or even an exodus ministry. He's in my prayers.

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

RThomasETC — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 20:48:51 -0000

good idea Julie. Yes, the jokes have been really bad about him.

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

Julie — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 20:30:30 -0000

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

editorgal — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 19:19:32 -0000

Sigh. Closets are dark, confining, restricting, and airless. No matter what name your closet has: abuse (sexual, physical or mental), alcoholism, drug addiction (prescription or street), pornography, food, mental illness (and I include depression here), control . . . well, the list is endless. Despite the prison of a closet, many folks choose to remain in them out of fear. Fear of rejection, ridicule, and all those words encompass. For some, the fear of losing income or their liveskeeps them imprisoned. Sadly, churches are not safe places to come out of whatever closet restricts our freedom.

The article in the link Chap. Chas posted hits home . . . even if you substitute the name of the closet (or temptation) to any of the ones not related to sexual sin. The solution, ah, much touchier. Requires more of us to be honest, open and vulnerable . . . modern day prophets, if you will, exposing the closets for what they are, prisons. And proclaiming the Gospel so He can set the prisoners free. A daunting and scary prospect. I confess, I'm scared to expose my closets to the Church at large. He lives in my closets, well, the biggest ones anyway. The ones that kept me the most imprisoned. I'm certain I still have pockets I hide in when my flesh gets tempted away from His truth. I press on, thankful for the grace He's given me for this day. He is my freedom.

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

RThomasETC — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 18:32:03 -0000

Well ... you know ... I try. :)

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

RThomasETC — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 18:31:38 -0000

Yeah, the Lindsay thing is odd. From the feedback I get (of all persuasions) has the opposite mirror reaction to Lindsay as they do Clay. The moment they hear she is in a "lesbian" relationship they always say "she's not really a lesbian" unlike Clay where the immediate response has always been, "he has same sex attraction."

Kinda' weird that little dynamic.

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

RThomasETC — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 18:28:14 -0000

Thank you for the link Chas. I like and try to live out your antidote to shame :).

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

RThomasETC — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 18:26:44 -0000

I think I understand what you are saying but don't want to assume. Would you elaborate on how coming out has become "cool?"

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

RThomasETC — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 17:52:13 -0000

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

RThomasETC — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 17:49:53 -0000

Very good perspective. Great job in explaining.

Re: First Ray Now Clay: Clay Aiken Embraces a Gay Identity

Brenna Kater, the Oceanskater — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 17:48:52 -0000

When I saw the headline, I popped over her, figuring you had already blogged about it!